This afternoon, while having lunch with Wilson and Oon Oon, we suddenly jumped into discussing the song “If I Were A Boy” by Beyonce. We were puzzled as our grammar understanding tells us the phrase “if I was” should be used instead of “if I were”.
I remember one of my friend did tell me “if I were a boy” sounds better than “if I was a boy”, though the phrase “if I were a boy” is grammatically incorrect. I wasn’t quite agree and satisfied with the answer he gave me and for all this while I thought “if I was” is the correct one, but not until today…
We thought it was just a coincidence that it happened to be mistake in the lyrics but guess we were the mistaken ones. When Wilson read a book of the famous author Dan Brown, he realized a sentence with phrase of “if she were …” How is that possible, especially from a world renown author? That’s the time when he went digging for the sensible explanation.
The tense used here is subjunctive. More meaningful explanation can be read from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subjunctive.
For all this while, our grammar understanding is pathetically too shallow, I dare to bet that even some English teachers might not know the existence of such a tense.
Some examples are :
- Correct : If I were a boy.
- Wrong : If I was a boy.
- Correct : If she were a thief.
- Wrong : If she was a thief.
- Correct : I guess she be the culprit behind.
- Wrong : I guess she is the culprit behind.
I think I’m going to stop here. Hope you guys enjoyed.
This is a story of an anonymous boy from a place which we never really know where it is exactly, or hardly heard of before. Back to year 1986, when the boy first made his cries heard, his life was already destined to be someone unusual.
Ever since his childhood (even though he never really experienced any ideal childhood like any other kid like him could’ve deserved to), he knows he has to be independent. Family members couldn’t 24-7 be helpful, what about forever. Friends? I wonder if he really has at least one whom he can share joys and tears together. Spouse or partner? That’s already too far away. Surprisingly, he’s strong and deep within himself, he knows that he has to sacrifice and abandon most of the things that he ever wishes to have in his life in order to become someone he wants to be.
Despite having an abusive father, he actually managed to replace sorrow with smile and laughter, which the side effect of the practice has eventually led him to forgetting the feeling of crying for a very long long time. Other relatives (besides than his honoured mother and siblings) have all turned their backs on him. To them, this little boy is merely another useless product of his infamous father, a failure of which none will ever, ever pay attention to him. What good can this kid be doing in his future? I guess that must be what they have used to think of him.
He spent most of his childhood time playing around alone, digging drain, hopeful to find something peculiar enough to be added in to his ’self-made-toys’ collection. His siblings never really joined him during his childhood, since in their eyes; he’s a dirty naughty boy who should be kept home, away from their friends. But this little kid never actually found out the reason why, since they rarely have much time to be spent on playing and enjoying. He’s totally cool with such a treatment, as he has already got used to it. Never such an idea of ‘playing together’ has come across his mind. Anytime he wanted to play, sand and drain will be somewhat he’s looking for. Economic.
The home television was meant only for news readings and sports reports purposes. I remember the boy once told me that he was slapped by his father for watching some cartoon shows, while he was actually laughing out happily watching some characters that supposedly cheer up kids. He ended up crying unsoundly, afraid any more noises will serve him worse.
Truthfully, he can be a damn good actor. You can tell this immediately when he’s able to smile and try pulling his mother’s leg, so that this powerless lady wouldn’t have to worry about him. Silly, don’t you think your mother would’ve figured out what had happened from your tears and the obvious red hand mark on your face?
I never know why but people whom I care so far have hurt me so much. From my father to my friends and the person I love so much. Clueless but I don’t hope for an answer as I believe it would be just another excuse, not a reason.
Probably I’m the wronged one, I ain’t sure. But one thing I know, happiness is not within my grasp so far. Only sorrow, loneliness and pain that I can’t bare alone in my life. Another wound that need a very long time to heal…
This story
was created by few of my friends, when Prof. Iouri was performing his skillful
hypnotism art. Well, the story is actually comprised of few paragraphs, each
written by different people and based on their creativity, they continued each
other story. In order to preserve the originality and creativity of each
author, I decided to not to alter even a single letter of their story. Idea was
based on Ms. Lee Chih Fang’s opinion. Check this out…
Once upon a time, there was one
pig named Jibex. He had two sisters, namely Jiji and Bebex. One day, he went to
a river, hoping to have some water to quench his thirst. Somehow a crocodile
came. Jibex was so frightened but the crocodile said, “It’s ok, my Jibex. I
ain’t gonna harm you. All I want is just to have a rest here”.
Then Jibex rest with the crocodile by the
riverside. Suddenly, the crocodile said, “I don’t really like ur name. Y don’t
we take this chance to change ur name?” After considering for half an-hour,
Jibex agreed. Then they discussed different names and finally Jibex changed his
name to Johnny which is more polite and nice. After the incident, Johnny and
the crocodile become close friends. Until one day… Chih Fang
Johnny feel that it’s asshole bleedy. It
don’t know why. Then Johnny ask crocodile, “Cro, did you see anything happen
yesterday when I was slept? I don’t know why my asshole is so pain now!”
Crocodile laugh and said, “Yesterday I had a great time and enjoy it. What was
happened on you actually not important, the most
important thing is I will care
on you in the future! Hahaha!!” Johnny feel weird but laugh also. (Actually
Crocodile is a gay, it’s sex partner name Johnny was dead. So it changed Jibex
name to Johnny) Popo
The next day, Johnny went to find Jiji and
Bebex and told them. Jiji and Bebex never realized the difference between male
and female. Thus, they suggested Johnny to get married with Crocodile. But
Johnny was unhappy, thus he popped out that question out, “Why does it bleed
when I sleep?” Jiji and Bebex both said, “Well, probably from your vagina? You
were a virgin before this?” Johnny wasn’t satisfied with the answer. He went to
ask Dr. Pussy. “Doctor, I think I was raped yesterday. My ass is still bleeding
now”,said Johnny. Dr. Pussy examined his ass and said, “You dumbass! U ada
buasir, bodoh!” Wilson
“What must I do, Doc!!? I cannot go around
bleeding like this all my life! I need a
fair and pretty ass still!”
“Well, I have something to tell ya, John.
That ain’t no ordinary buasir ya got in ya ass there, man. It is a different
one, one caused by love so deep that it must stay there forever as a mark of
the eternal love that you had between you and another g**… Oops!!! Did I say
something?”
Luckily for Dr. Pussy, Johnny wasn’t much
paying attention to what Dr. Pussy was talking about, so he missed the part
where Dr. Pussy let slip. And so Johnny said, “Please doctor, tell me what to
do. I’ll do anything you ask me to. I’ll do anything to make my ass back to
normal, back to a clean one.”
“Anything?” asked Dr. Pussy.
“Anything…” said Johnny between sobs. Oon Oon
“Hehehe…” laugh Dr. Pussy evilly. “Let me
tell you about my experience at Africa last year, that time I was jogging in
the desert and meet a Koala Bear and he invited me to visit his house at North
pole, so we flew over…”
“WAT!? It is impossible!!” said Johnny.
“So does your ass” reply Dr. Pussy.
Moral of the story: Remember to keep your
ass clean. Xiang Hou
Johnny really fall for the story and went
to the desert. He spent a few days
looking for Koala Bear but instead find
Camel. “Hei the guy with the butt on the back, have you seen Koala Bear?” asked
Johnny. Camel: “Never heard of this creature before, why?” Johnny had a chat
with camel to explain everything. Camel advised Johnny to go straight to North
Pole. So Johnny went to North Pole on the whale’s back. He saw Panda bear
playing with penguin on ice. They had a chat with Johnny and advised him to
shove some ice up his ass to stop the bleeding. Joe
So Johnny butt was finally saved and no longer
bleeding again. So he went back to meet crocodile and rape the horrible gay
crocodile. Then he stumble upon the infamous “orang minyak”. The orang minyak
appeared and raped Johnny… Poor Johnny… His tiny butt was torn and bled even
more… After raping Johnny the orang minyak disappeared into the dark… Then a
bunch of horny Pink Pandas came and took advantage of Johnny… The more they
violate Johnny, the better he felt… He realizes his true self… “I’m Gay” says
Johnny to himself… “Who am I kidding all this while… I was never straight… I
always get wet dreams of my friend Alex in class… I AM GAY! I AM GAY!” yelled
Johnny with pride while 20 pink pandas took turns to rape him…
Johnny finally decides to be true to
himself and decides to be a transvestite and changes his name to Yen Yen.. Jai
On the New Year’s Eve of 2008,
couple of my friends and I went to have our New Year countdown at Auto-City.
But before that we decided to hang around at Sunway Carnival Mall since few of
my friends haven’t been there before.
Sad to say, none of us know the exact road direction
to there. So we asked for the direction station by station, passerby to
passerby. Somehow we made ourselves journey to a T-junction which was not
described in the direction given. The red light of the traffic turned on so it
did spare us some time to make our decision.
Next to us was a Proton car driven by a young Chinese
lady, who I would have to say that she was kind of pretty. Few of them said the
same thing too. Suddenly, a friend of mine told me to ask the direction from
the lady. Since I was the closest one among others and at the same time I didn’t
think that I have another option to choose as the time is running out, I rolled
down the window. I waved my hands, trying to get the lady’s attention. Somehow,
she realized it and looked at me.
The worst nightmare began. I tried to ask her to lower
down her window by using some hand signals. My friends at the back there were
laughing at me. The lady looked at me for about three seconds before she turned
her head to the front. I was puzzled. Then calmly, she turned her head and
looked at my friends behind me. They were still laughing and didn’t even notice
if she was looking at them. Then, she slowly shook her head.
I knew at the instant what that gesture means. It was
likely that the girl was thinking if I’m a pervert or at the very least, we
were messing around with her. Damn it! As you guys would expect, the young lady
who think she is god damn pretty ignored us from that moment onwards until the
green light turned on.
As she drove her car away, we quickly looked at the
number plate of the car. We couldn’t really recall the complete serial number
but only with the serial of ‘WNX xxxx’.
I won’t apologize to the young lady nor shall I explain anything
to her. Let it be our memory. I was, certainly, shocked and surprised but at
the same time, I feel funny on the embarrassed me.
Now, before I
begin, allow me to make some grammatical corrections. The proper title (as what
I think, at least), should correctly be as the following sentences.
TSUNAMI
& EARTHQUAKE
HAPPENED IN INDONESIA…
‘Punishment From God…’
WHY HELP THEM? STILL REMEMBER WHAT THOSE
INDONESIANS DID, ONLY TO CHINESE GIRLS IN YEAR 1998, MAY 14TH???
As for the closing text, the corrected sentences
should be behaved as follows.
NOW… THEY FEEL BACK
THE PAIN WHEN FAMILIES LOST THEIR LOVED ONES…
‘God Has Shown His Sign…’
…Too many Indonesians in our country,
…creates trouble !
Back to few hours ago, I forwarded a message
containing the link of this image to few of my friends on Friendster. But
somehow, I felt that, by doing so might cause some misunderstandings among us,
so I decided to write this. Hey, do not think that my comment on this case is
biased just because I am a Chinese. I have my education background in ’sekolah
kebangsaan’ since kindergarten level of education.
Well, since I’m not Chinese-literate, any comment
telling the main points of the article above would be greatly appreciated.
Now, from my point of view, I do think those acts of
God have the correspondence to what those Indonesians had done to those
girls. Many of you, as I believe, would respond to the article as it
claims to be. They are barbarians and they deserve to face the retribution. But wait a minute, who are we to justify it?
About those disasters that happened in Indonesia, it
was all between Him and the perpetrators. We have no business there. So should
we sit down on our seat and curse them for crime they have done? Instead of deciding whether the punishment is
reasonable , shouldn’t we help out those in need? It’s not up to us to decide
what kind of punishment they should face because I do know one thing that is
for sure. It’s our choice to decide whether we should help the innocents or
not.
Come on Malaysians, we do have our Chinese employees
who abused their Indonesian maids. So if u think Indonesians deserve such
severe punishment from God, don’t you think the next one would be our turn?
I believe many of you may think that I never judge the
whole situation as family members of the victims. While I was a student of Form
Six, I do have a lady senior, not very close one. She got raped one day when
she was walking home and was thrown down from a flyover to the railway. She got
her spine broken. The crime was committed by a Sarawakian. So should I be happy
if somehow Sarawak was attacked by tsunami and earthquake, saying, ‘This is
what they deserve’?
The population in Indonesia as reported in July 2006
has reached a number of 245 452 739 residents. 49.92% of the figure consists of
male population. As the result of the attack of the tsunami on Banda Aceh, 280
000 deaths were reported by 25 January 2005, with Indonesian authorities
announcing 228 429 people presumed died. Now I’d assume the population in
Indonesia is evenly distributed only with Indonesians and those perpetrators
are male only. These figures suggest 139
776 males died in the disaster. But, were all the 139 776 males who died in the
disaster responsible in committing the? Or are all the perpetrators included in that
figure? I guess the answer would be simply a ‘No’. So if you think by having
these 280 000 people killed will ease off the souls of the victims, then you
have truly made their souls the vengeful ones.
So what I’m trying to tell everyone is to never judge
a situation by looking just from one perspective. We are given the ability to
think sensibly. Conscience to react rationally. Not shall we to judge them but
to stop them is what we should do. Being helpful and having mercy in our life
is a virtue. Let it be the guide of our own instinct. God bless…
青花瓷 |Qing Hua Ci| Blue and White Porcelain
曲:- 周杰倫
Qu:- Zhou Jie Lun
Music:- Jay Chou
詞:- 方文山
Ci:- Fang Wen Shan
Lyrics:- Vincent Fang
Pin Yin: ekyec - www.jay-chou.net
Translation: laruku - www.jay-chou.net
素胚勾勒出青花筆鋒濃轉淡
su pei gou le chu qing hua bi feng nong zhuan dan
The brush outlines a beautiful pattern, brush strokes becoming lighter
瓶身描繪的牡丹一如妳初妝
ping shen miao hui de mu dan yi ru ni chu zhuang
The peony on the bottle, simplest beauty, just like you
冉冉檀香透過窗心事我了然
ran ran tan xiang tou gou chuang xin shi wo liao ran
Whiffs of incense smoke bring your troubles to my heart
宣紙上走筆至此擱一半
xuan zhi shang zou bi zhi ci ge yi ban
I pause halfway while painting
釉色渲染仕女圖韻味被私藏
you se xuan ran shi nv tu yun wei bei si cang
The glazing of the lady’s portrait hides her charm
而妳嫣然的一笑如含苞待放
er ni yan ran de yi xiao ru han bao dai fang
Your smile, to me, like a budding flower
妳的美一縷飄散 去到我去不了的地方
ni de mei yi lv piao san / qu dao wo qu bu liao de di fang
But your beauty dissipates like smoke, to a place I can never reach
＃天青色等煙雨 而我在等妳 (1)
tian qing se deng yan yu / er wo zai deng ni
The perfect shade of blue awaits the right weather, like how I wait for you
炊煙裊裊昇起 隔江千萬里
chui yan niao niao sheng qi / ge jiang qian wan li
From a thousand miles away, I gaze at the curling chimney smoke
在瓶底書漢隸仿前朝的飄逸
zai ping di shu han li fang qian zhao de piao yi
The calligraphy beneath the bottle, elegance of the Han Dynasty
就當我為遇見妳伏筆
jiu dang wo wei yu jian ni fu bi
Our meeting I foreshadowed
＊天青色等煙雨 而我在等妳 (1)
tian qing se deng yan yu / er wo zai deng ni
The perfect shade of blue awaits the right weather, like how I wait for you
月色被打撈起 暈開了結局
yue se bei da lao qi / yun kai liao jie ju
The moonlight smudged away the remnants of our ending
如傳世的青花瓷自顧自美麗 妳眼帶笑意
ru zhuan shi de qing hua ci zi gu zi mei li / ni yan dai xiao yi
Like legendary porcelain obsessed with itself, your eyes full of laughter
色白花青的錦鯉躍然於碗底
se bai hua qing de jin li yue ran yu wan di
Those blue carp seem to come alive on the white bowl
臨摹宋體落款時卻惦記著妳 （2）
lin mo song ti luo kan shi que dian ji zhe ni
While I am imitating the Song inscription I’m thinking of you
妳隱藏在窯燒裡千年的秘密
ni yin cang zai yao shao li qian nian de mi mi
The eon of secrets you buried in the kiln
極細膩猶如繡花針落地
ji xi ni you ru xiu hua zhen luo di
It’s exquisiteness like an embroidery needle
簾外芭蕉惹驟雨門環惹銅綠 (3)
lian wai ba jiao re zhou yu men huan re tong lv
The banana tree outside brought the sudden downpour, and in turn the copper rust on the door handle
而我路過那江南小鎮惹了妳 (3)
er wo lu guo na jiang nan xiao zhen re le ni
My passing by Jiangnan brings me to you
在潑墨山水畫(4) 裡 妳從墨色深處被隱去(5)
zai po mo shan shui hua li / ni cong mo se shen chu bei yin qu
Yet you fade away into the deep abyss of the Chinese painting
#*#*
___________________________________________________________________
Translator’s Notes:
Overview:
This song makes use of the metaphor of porcelain to describe love and
separation. Separation doesn’t always have to be painful and sad, it
can be inscribed for life in memories and in the heart, just like
paintings on porcelain, glazed and fixed for eternities. The pain and
the sadness can pass with time, but the beauty of the love will always
stay.
Points:
1. 天青色等煙雨 而我在等妳
天青色 is a very specific colour of the porcelain
that can ONLY be created/set with great difficulty. The temperature of
the kiln has to be perfect and the last day of the glazing HAS TO BE on
a rainy day. Only then can it achieve that specific colour.
煙雨天 =Rainy Day
Which is why 天青色&煙雨
are inseparable, relating it to the ‘me’ & ‘you’ in the song. Which
means that I can ONLY wait for you, and no one else. Nobody else will
complete me as you do.
To be more exacting to Vincent Fang’s way of thought, it is the
waiting that is the key point in this line. The shade of blue has to
patiently ‘wait’ for the rainy weather, just as I can only wait for
you…
2. 臨摹宋體落款時卻惦記著妳
This line, literally translated above, actually means that even though
dynasties have passed (in reference to Han Dynasty a few lines up), the
memory and thought of you does not wane.
3. 簾外芭蕉惹驟雨門環惹銅綠
而我路過那江南小鎮惹了妳
The use of the word 惹 veers from the usual negative implication it has. 惹 in normal usage means ‘annoy; irritate’. However, in this instance, it means attracting or bringing forward something.
It has a much more aggressive implication than simply just bring 2 things together. In the first line, 惹 is used passively, as copper can only wait for the rust to form on it.. Yet in the second line, 惹 is used aggressively. It reflects from a few lines before 天青色等煙雨 而我在等妳 where I am passive. In this instance, I am active. There is a contrast here.
4. 潑墨山水畫
It’s a special type of landscape painting.
潑墨 is the technique used. What happens is that
the artist will splash some ink on the canvas, and very quickly use
that splatter of ink to create a final landscape painting.
5. 妳從墨色深處被隱去
This is purely my own take on the lyrics. This line talks about how the
other party is gone (dead or otherwise), but she hasn’t entirely
vanished, only immortalised in the painting itself, the painting being
a metaphor for the heart/mind.
This is actually sent to me from a friend of mine via Friendster. So here it goes…
Your pictures are in frames, memories on my wall,
To have you here again, I would give them all.
A picture cannot capture, the beauty of your skin,
Or the radiating glow I’d feel, whenever you would grin.
They cannot talk or sing to me, the way you used to do,
I’ll never love another, the way that I love you.
So I look at you my soul mate, a picture in a frame,
I cry my tears of sorrow, cause I feel God’s to blame.
He came and took the one, who made my life complete,
And all that’s left are pictures, and an empty seat.
I also have a feeling down, deep within my heart,
It’s the pain of loneliness, since we’ve been apart.
I try not to let the grief, just overcome my day,
I’ll blow a kiss to heaven and send it when I pray.
I’ll ask God to free me now, from a world so blue,
To take me up to Paradise, so I can fly with you.
I’m waiting for the day you come, calling out my name,
Until then I’ll be staring at, your picture in a frame.
If only you are reading this, thanks…
Such a great day that I received comments from you guys! I’m not that nice actually, to be frank, you guys must have been deceived by me. Lolz… So, I do wanna make some comments on myself also, so that it’d be fair enough to you guys,k?!
Err… this guy has nothing special as he likes to mess around with everyone around him. All he wants is to enjoy the fun but he never realize that sometimes it’d hurt others. And it did happen few times! But he just doesn’t seem to learn from the past experience (huh… like math pulak, huh?).
He craps a lot, even though it’s unnecessary. Pai seh! Don’t ya ever tell others that you know him,k?! Sometimes find him annoying but just couldn’t stop him from talking. Coz afraid doing so might hurt him! Lolz…
Attention is what this stupid fella need to get no matter where he is or what he’s doing. He always ask people around him to ‘吊’ him but actually, he’s just asking you guys to respond to him, as he dislikes being ignored! (So you guys pandai-pandai lar bawa condom,k?!)
This fella complains a lot, tease a lot and most of all, curse a lot! (No wonder there’s no one who’s dare to ‘吊’ him! Now I see why! Lolz… Kesiannya…) ちばい。。。
Your friend here like to wear a lot, but please don’t refer him to those so-called ‘bling-bling’ style coz it ain’t that way,k?! He just wear whatever that he likes and it’s more likely to be pick ‘n’ match style. へへ。。。
For him, guys and girls are equal, that’s why he treats girl as if they are real guy! Really really sorry ’bout this, no hurt feeling,k?! (Kesiannya gadis-gadis di sekitar dia, bahaya ni! Nanti dia char awak baru u tahu!) What u said?! Celaka!
Another thing is that he likes to quarrel. And he enjoy it, seeing you guys mad, blur, your expression when you are confused; everything! Moreover, he likes to win and when thing doesn’t get right, huh, that’s the time when he’ll be ’summoning’ all your family members especially your mama ‘n’ your papa. He just love to do so. 关你临吊！
He likes to do things alone, or shall I say, he’s self-centred?! You judge it! Those who’d worked with him would’ve known it!
Too many other weaknesses! Like to pretend cute even though I know he doesn’t possess the quality that allows him to behave that way. He looked like a terrorist (if u’ve seen his I.D card photo) or a triad instead! For the first time when you met this guy, you’ll feel that he’s kinda cool but, tell you what, it’s just the feel, he’s not like that! He’s a God damn lame guy that you wish you’d never ever meet him in another thousand years coming! (yeah, he’s that bad!)
He can be very fussy and petty at certain time but hey, who don’t?! But once a person wronged to him, it means forever! Scary isn’t it? Lolz… And when he send a message, he expect instant reply! Hey, you think people are always that free to entertain you meh?! People also got their own business to mind. Huh, demanding…
He loves to be the correct one for all the time! So irritating ‘n’ annoying! Why don’t you let others to shout out as well?! Give them a chance,k?!
When you guys said he’s being helpful to others especially those weak ones, tell you what, the truth is that, he’s actually trying to show-off his skill. He’s just that bad, if only you guys realize it! Lolz…
A cocky guys who critics others a lot but never review himself. Fortunately, he’s doing it now, at least! Lolz… Thank God! Amen!
Should there be a second part for this confession?! Stay out there and you’ll find out soon! Second transformation is about to take place! Be prepared! Till then, do take care ‘n’ see ya next semester!
ことしは どうも ありがとう ございました。。。
p/s : blue : response expected from you guys
red : my response
